Weird and Wonderful Facts About Your Penis!

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18 Sep 2016

Weird and Wonderful Facts About Your Penis!

Garden hose, writer in snow, winner of the literal pissing content, we all have a special bond with our penis! Ever since we were running round as toddlers with no pants on and our mums told us to stop touching it, we have been obsessed with our penises. Whether you love to widely socialise him, always introduce him to people at parties, or keep that snake well inside your trousers, it’s likely he’s one of your favourite companions wherever you go.

From when your first girlfriend first touched him in the car you borrowed from your mum in college and pretended was yours, to ‘she who must not be named’ giving him an insulting nickname, you and your penis have lots of fond memories together. But with one in seven students reportedly not receiving any form of sex and relationships education in school, how much do you really know about yours? Read on for all the weird and wonderful facts about your penis you never knew you wanted to know!

Your Boner Has No Bone!

No matter how it may feel when you’re trying to slap down a rock hard erection in an inappropriate situation, your boner actually has no bone! Rather, it is made up of three columns of tissue, two of which (the corpus cavernosum) fill with blood and become rigid when arousal expands the blood vessels. The third column is the corpus spongiosum (I feel like corporal spongiosum is the pinnacle of penis nicknames), which surrounds the urethra and also fills with blood, keeping the urethra open for business. So less of a boner, more of a giant sponge!

It’s Probably Average (Sorry)

"Is it in yet?” is just about the most humiliating question a man can be asked, but how do you really measure up compared to their previous lovers? Well, probably quite similar actually. The average penis is 5.6 inches when fully erect, with just 6% of men measuring more than 6.3 inches long. So don’t let them make you think that everyone else they’ve been with was hung like a horse, chances are they’ve slept with more than their fair share of men who were distinctly average.

A Life of Excitement

From the cradle to the grave, there’s no end to man’s ability to launch the pocket rocket. Male foetuses can start experiencing erections in the womb as early as 16 weeks into a woman’s pregnancy, and can sometimes be seen on ultrasounds scans. Even after death, the male body can still spring a stiff one. Officially called priapism, and colloquially ‘angel lust’, it occurs most frequently when death has occurred through a method that damages the spinal cord, such as hanging.

Out of Control

Next time your lover rolls their eyes at your insatiable horn, you can proudly inform them that it isn’t your fault! Erections are controlled by the autonomic nervous system, meaning your spinal cord unconsciously controls when you can or can’t pitch the tent. You can’t will an erection away or, unfortunately, will one into being, although if you struggle to get an erection for more than a week or two, please visit your doctor for a check-up.

Up All Night

A healthy male will have an average of 11 erections per day, which can make for some very, erm, hard situations. Most of these, around nine, will occur at night though, so no need to worry about having to spend several hours a day hunched awkwardly over your desk. It does mean you’ll have to battle about who gets to be the little spoon though, someone is going to get rudely awakened by a prod in the back!

Too Hard to Quit?

The arguments for quitting smoking are difficult to dispute, and yet many of us continue to fire up in a bid to look ace. It might be easy to ignore the impending lung cancer when you’re still young and hot, but what about the penis shrinkage? Yes, that’s right, smoking can shrink your penis by as much as a centimetre, as well as reducing sperm count and causing erectile dysfunction. Sounds like it’s time to quit, after all.


The penis is a wonderful thing and requires lots of love and attention to keep it in tip top condition. To keep it safe in all situations head over to the Freedoms shop homepage , for a massive selection of top quality condoms at the lowest prices around.

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